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21 May 2008 @ 12:09 am
Let's Talk 'Torture'  
 

Title:  Let’s Talk ‘Torture’
Rating:  K+
Characters:  Soundwave and Bluestreak
Warnings:  None
Universe:  G1

Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, own the Transformers© franchise or the characters it contains.  They belong to Has/Tak, No infringement intended.

Summary:  Soundwave learns why Bluestreak’s chosen designation in English is Bluestreak. 

Prompt from the Transformers Pairing Generator:   Soundwave/Bluestreak/Mouth

 

blue streak, 1) (noun) something that moves along very quickly 2) (Idiom) to talk rapidly and continuously 3) (idiomatic) to talk for a long time, at great length, or to the point of tedium


 

Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a ‘Friday the 13th.’  The first letters of the months July through November, in order, spell the name Jason.  Speaking of names, the names of the three wise monkeys, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil are Mizaru, Kikazaru and Iwazaru.  And a lot of people don’t know this, but sometimes there is a fourth monkey Shizaru, and he represents do no evil.  Huh, you probably wouldn’t like him.  The storage capacity of the human brain is about 4,000 gigabytes or 4 terabytes.  You probably already know this one seeing as how you guys are always trying to capture energy, Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet.  The…”

The endless monologue continued on over the only communication channel Soundwave could get to work.  And if he could not get it to close, could it really be considered working?  It was really frustrating being the Decepticon Senior Communications Officer, an expert in his field, and not being able to get any communication lines going except the emergency beacon frequency and this one short range general band.

For the past 3 hours, Soundwave had been trapped under the collapsed hill side with that voice coming non-stop over his one comm. line.  The Autobot had talked non-stop, offering up completely useless nonsense on a wide range of topics related to each other only in the fact that most, but not all, in some way were about the mud ball planet they were stationed on.  At this point, Soundwave was convinced that the Autobot was not talking merely to here himself talk, but to crash his enemies CPU.  

Why had the Autobots not yet come and collected their missing gunner?  Surely they had discovered his absence by now?  And where was his own faction or his cassettes for that matter?  At this point, either faction showing up would have been welcome for the blessed silence it would have offered.

“111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 equals 12,345,678,987,654,321.  In the United States, if you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19, which is the largest amount of money in coins you can have without being able to make change for a dollar.  A bowling pin…

Oh wonderful, back to mathematics again.  He’d been stationed well back from the battle lines, out of sight in a small dry canyon, but still within easy jamming range.  Unfortunately the Autobot Gunner Bluestreak had located him.  The two had exchanged gunfire and some rockets as well.  The rockets were why he was currently in alt mode under a collapsed cliff, listening to the fore mentioned gunner who was down in the canyon above him.  He knew that the Gunner was down, minus half a leg plus a busted ankle, thus preventing his departure under his own power.  Soundwave knew this because Bluestreak had mentioned this in the very beginning of the monologue.

“You’re the Decepticon communications officer.  So you probably know all about earth languages.  I’m guessing that you can write them also.  Because that is just another method of communicating and I have some great information I was saving for Prowl, but it’ll probably interest you also.”

Not likely. Soundwave groaned to himself and tried again in vain to transform his body and when that failed, looked at his repair status again.  It was defiantly wrong that self-repair considered all communications beyond the emergency beacon a secondary repair priority.  Especially in a communications mech like himself.  Of course, if it had considered communications a primary priority, then he would certainly have bled out by now, particularly in his transformed state, considering he was missing a huge chunk of his transformed shoulder and arm.  Still…

“…sentence ‘the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’ uses every letter in the English alphabet.  "Bookkeeper" and "bookkeeping" are the only words in the English language with three consecutive double letters.  The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.  The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is ‘uncopyrightable’.  Though I’m not sure that’s even a real word.  I tried looking it up in one of their dictionaries, and it wasn’t there.  And thinking about their dictionary, there are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, silver, and month.  On a typewriter...”

And we’re back to languages again.  Soundwave again tried to get the comm. line to shut down with no luck.  This Autobot needed to shut up.  This was torture.  How did the Autobots stand this?  The gunners chosen English translation of his Cybertronian designation was certainly appropriate enough.  He sure could talk a blue streak with that mouth of his.

…whip moves so fast that it breaks the sound barrier. The crack of a whip is actually a tiny sonic boom.  You think Thundercracker knows that humans can all make sonic booms given the correct equipment?  The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. Which you probably don’t care about since you fly everywhere.  But the straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.  Actually…”

 

 
 
 
The Escapist: moviejazzdark_daebereth on May 21st, 2008 06:44 am (UTC)
Oh man, I love Bluestreak, but you really have to feel sorry for Soundwave. You can -hear- him figuratively rolling his eyes.
Nice work.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
(Deleted comment)
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)
I was feeling a bit sorry for Soundwave.

Thank you for reading and commenting.
Because there's something wrong with me!batchix on May 21st, 2008 07:19 am (UTC)
Poor Poor Soundwave! XD;; at the same time... I love blue. <3
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Newsy: Sunnynewsy891 on May 21st, 2008 07:30 am (UTC)
*gigglefit!* Oh, Bluestreak. =D
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Casha Mayfield: Casha Forest Sprites__wilderness__ on May 21st, 2008 10:02 am (UTC)
*grins* Excellent!
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Wyntir Rosewyntir_rose on May 21st, 2008 11:20 am (UTC)
*giggle* Oh Blue! Poor Blue! Poor Soundwave!

You know, the Autobots need to enlist Blue as an interrogator. The Decepticons would tell the Autobots anything and everything just to make the chatter stop.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
I figure that Blue could indeed be a method of interogation.

Thank you for reading and commenting.
Dr Leonard McCoy: All that Jazzdanzelli on May 21st, 2008 11:26 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed this. Nice work.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Kyra Neko-Rei (Kyra Cat-Soul): Ooooh . . . Shiny!kyra_neko_rei on May 21st, 2008 02:03 pm (UTC)
Hahahahaha! I expected this, given the characters and the concept, to be the other way 'round, and almost didn't click on it. This is a hilarious way to turn the tables.

Also a very interesting collection of trivia.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:48 pm (UTC)
Thought we'd have some fun. :D

Thank you for reading and commenting.
mommimus_primemommimus_prime on May 21st, 2008 02:20 pm (UTC)
I think Blue has too much time on his hands. The Autobots need to put him to work so he can't spend all his time looking up stuff like that.

Great story. Had me giggling from the beginning.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
I figure someone gave him a copy of 'The Ultimate Book of Useless Information', or he's indeed spending to much time looking stuff up on Wiki.

Thank you for reading and commenting.
raisedbymoogles on May 21st, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
*giggles* Looks like all that time on Wikipedia is paying off.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
Either that or someone gave him a copy of 'The Ultimate Book of Useless Information.' Or perhaps it a combination?

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Fallen Sith Empresseerian_sadow on May 21st, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
oh, poor soundwave. but this was brilliant!
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
(Deleted comment)
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

:D
Epona Harper: BWAHAHA!drharper on May 21st, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
*gigglefits*

I agree with wyntir_rose! Bluestreak needs to be employed as an interrogator. Just tell him what question to ask the prisoner when the poor 'Con finally breaks and screams that he'll tell you anything you want to know, please just STOP! Then slip some mild stims into his energon and turn him loose. ;)

Edited at 2008-05-21 05:03 pm (UTC)
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 21st, 2008 08:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
mmousemmouse15 on May 22nd, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
You had way too much fun getting all those facts together, didn't you? Well, I most certainly enjoyed reading them, and I enjoyed that Bluestreak was the one torturing Soundwave. It's a wonderful twist to the TF dynamics.

Great job!
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on May 22nd, 2008 02:57 am (UTC)
Yes, I actually did have fun gathering the facts used in the story. Happy that you enjoyed. Thank you for reading and commenting.
mornmeril: bigmornmeril on September 18th, 2008 10:27 am (UTC)
This so killed me! Poor Soundwave!
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on September 18th, 2008 02:23 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked. Thank you for reading and commenting on this. It is always nice to know when people like something you did.