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17 September 2008 @ 04:49 pm
Writer's Block: Over-the-Top Metaphors  
Detective stories are stereotypically full of over-the-top metaphors: "The villain's hand stroked the cat the way his sins stroked his black soul. His voice, rough as the city's nighttime streets and twice as terrifying, barked orders to his lackeys. They scattered like parents who just realized they forgot to pick up a child from school." Write a short scene using some of your own extreme metaphors and similes.

Prowl glared at Bluestreak. 

Bluestreak tried to stand impassive before the Autobot’s Second in Command but the fact that he was shaking like the Ark during a Dinobot stampede was belying his attempt.  His excuse was as weak as one of Starscream’s excuses to Megatron.  Bluestreak knew this.  Prowl knew this.  And Bluestreak knew Prowl knew this.  If and when he got free of Prowl, the twins were going to pay for vanishing quicker than the Decepticons in full retreat at the first hint of things going to the Pit.

Still another attempt might be for the best.  “But Prowl, really we weren’t doing anything wrong.”

Prowl's optics dimmed, the only sign that Bluestreak was not helping his cause by continuing to speak.  “Just because you showed the intelligence of Fireflight when he sees something shiny and got caught is hardly a reason to offer up an excuse so feeble it wouldn’t support a minibot.”

“But Prowl, Sir…”

Current Mood: amusedamused
(Deleted comment)
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on September 18th, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
Glad I made someone laugh.

okamichanokamichan on September 18th, 2008 01:26 am (UTC)
Oh, if only my brain wasn't pulled every which way by ideas! That was so fun to read, it must have been fun to write! I love your use of metaphors.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on September 18th, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed. Thanks.
Newsynewsy891 on September 18th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
the intelligence of Fireflight when he sees something shiny

LOL! Flighty is so cute. =D
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on September 18th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
Yes he is. ;)

portiafish on September 18th, 2008 02:01 am (UTC)
My. That was funny. :) Thanks, I needed the laugh.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on September 18th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
Pleased it was enjoyed. Little laughs are always good.

Thank you.
nova_mythnova_myth on September 18th, 2008 03:04 am (UTC)
Ahaha, I feel like that at work, only 1) I don't have hotties doing it and 2) I'd get fired if I let it get to that point :p

You should write more, what he get caught doing and the Twins getting cold should adn have to kiss up

cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on September 18th, 2008 02:28 pm (UTC)
I'd love to write more on this but without the metaphors. However, I have no idea what the three of them did, where they did it, or how Blue's going to collect payment. Let alone when he's gonna be freed by Prowl.

It's probably gonna be added to "someday I'm gonna do something more with this" list.

Hmmm. No hotties at my work either.

Thank you for reading and commenting.
mmousemmouse15 on September 18th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC)

Very nice job of overusing the metaphors! Yours is much better than the example, if only because I damn near died laughing at the Fireflight reference...
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on September 18th, 2008 02:29 pm (UTC)
I was most pleased with the Fireflight reference. Thanks for reading and commenting.
The Escapist: jazzdark_daebereth on September 18th, 2008 06:16 am (UTC)
-giggles- Oh, those are fantastic. Poor Flight XD
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on September 18th, 2008 02:31 pm (UTC)
Poor flight yes, but it worked so well.

Thank you for reading and commenting. Glad you enjoyed a little laugh. A little humor is usually a good thing.