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27 June 2008 @ 10:25 am
The Last and Alone  

Title:  The Last and Alone
Rating:  K+
Characters:  Perceptor
Warnings:  None
Universe:  G1-ish
Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, or form, own the Transformers© franchise or the characters it contains.  They belong to Has/Tak, No infringement intended.  Any OC’s are to my knowledge mine.

Summary:  Perceptor was once part of a gestalt, but the others were destroyed.  This prompt from  [info]kirin_saga at the </a></b></a>tf_bunny_farm  </font>

This prompt did not turn out as expected.  First it made me get up in the just after midnight hours to type it out, then it goes off in a completely different direction from the story line that was keeping me awake.  So, to kirin, not sure if this is what you were looking for.  And I'm sure the lack of "wow" has something to do with the lovely time of night I did this.

Perceptor sat in a lounge chair in the Rec room, nursing a cube of energon.  Arrayed around him, his friends , Ratchet, Wheeljack, Trailbreaker, Hound and Beachcomber chatted about the outdoor crowd’s most recent leave.  Across the room though, Perceptor watched the Autobots young gestalt team laugh, joke and play as they took in their own rations.  It had been somewhat of a shock some time back, upon seeing the Constructicons to realize that gestalt technology had resurfaced.  Or maybe it had never been hidden.  He wasn’t sure.  And now the Autobots had their own team as well.  He envied the Aerialbots for what they had and prayed to Primus they would never know the emptiness that was his. 

The gestalt was both blessing and curse.  Even now he could sometimes, for a couple of astroseconds still view it evenly in those terms.  Within his CPU he had the memories of six mechs.  One set was his, but the rest, were holes in his spark.  He had five separate memories of meeting himself for the first time.  As well as five sets of memories of meeting the other eventual team members.  Actually he had the memories of seven if you counted Monolith.  But Monolith’s memories were vague and dreamy having mostly belonged to the whole.  It was part of being a group mind.  A merging of thoughts.  Being all of the others and yourself at the same time.  And Monolith had been them.

Even as his companions chatted around him, Perceptor's thoughts led him down the familiar path to the past.  Memories and emptiness were all he had left.  Back then, so very long ago, they had volunteered for an experiment.  Him and five other mechs.  All young, all needing the credits.  And it had been everything they had been promised right up to the point that the lab controllers had moved from the CPU formatting studies, to the structure changes.  Then they had lost their freedom and become the property of the study.  The bindings to create the gestalt were not just physical, but mental as well.  He looked once again at the young gestalt across the room.

The gestalt was, in a sense, a blessing for the wholeness it had offered.  As well as the knowledge gained in a wide range of fields, from his teammates.  Strengths were enhanced and weaknesses, while not eliminated, had been smoothed over.  Yet each mech was still an individual with their own feelings and quirks.  That his team as well as the other two gestalts in the experiment had been spark bonded as well as gestalt had given them near telepathic powers.  A near mystical, almost ability; to know what each was doing and where each of the other members of the team were at any given moment.  They had never thought that one might survive the rest.  Single bondmates rarely outlived their partners.  With their unheard of till then six-way bonds, it was suppose to be an all or nothing deal.  They lived and died together. 

The second gestalt team certainly had reacted as expected when their time of destruction was upon them.  In fact, of the six team members who had once formed Totality, only two had actually off-lined permanently from battle damage.  The other four had screamed in audio piercing agony, dropped into stasis, then had permanently off-lined, their sparks guttering out.  His team as well as the final team of first gestalts had expected the same fate.   But that had not happened for him.

No, his team had gone into battle, in defense of a colony planet.  He remembered that.  And he remembered Slider’s death.  Well he remembered the sudden agonizing pain of ripping and tearing in his mind and spark.  Then he had on lined thousands of vorns later in the Medical Bay of the Autobots main Headquarters.  He had woken to learn that the Cybertron he knew was no more.  That Cybertron was in fact embroiled in a massive civil war.  He had been found in a collapsed building by search teams after a battle still hooked to some kind of life support machine, and brought in for aid.

Ratchet had said it had been relatively simple to bring him out of the emergency stasis they had found him in.  Amongst the haze in his CPU he had found an encrypted file which when opened had explained what had happened to his team and what had happened to him.  Ultimately it had offered no real answers.  Offering only that the techs in charge of the program had had no understanding of why he alone had survived the destruction of his team.  Why, when 5 of his team were destroyed, one somehow survived.  It didn’t even explain why he had been placed on life support rather that just being allowed to slowly off line from lack of fuel.  Though he could theorize that reason.  They had surely wanted to learn from him to improve the next models.  He had obviously been lost or forgotten at some point though.  Too much time had passed.

Perceptor never mentioned to the Autobots what he had been, merely offering his talents as a scientist, cross trained as a medical tech, thanks to Tonic’s skill set.  He quickly earned his place as a quiet, reserved, yet brilliant scientist.  He had kept his skills as a warrior hidden for the most part.  Though some more observant mechs had occasionally noticed his skill during the times he had ended up in battle.   Yes even now the gestalt is blessing and curse.

The Aerialbots had been created as a gestalt right from the start, so very different from the first gestalt teams.  From his team.  The Aerialbots only knew the pleasures of the gestalt.  The knowledge of never being alone, of always being supported and loved no matter your faults.  The addiction that was the dissolution of self and melting of identity with the blending of minds.  The pleasure of mind sharing.  The   The gestalt rapport was a heady thing, the feeling of being something more than yourself, intoxicating.

“Perceptor?  You alright?”  It was Wheeljack. 

Perceptor shook his head slightly, and looked at his friend and fought the desperate need to stand and flee back to the science level and his lab.  “Fine.”  Wheeljack nodded thoughtfully and the others in the group smiled and the conversation continued. 

Perceptor sighed mentally to himself and looked once more at the young gestalt team.  May you never know the pain and emptiness of being torn apart.  May you never have holes in your spark that never fill, never get warm, never close, and never heal.  May none of you ever learn, that worse than all that, what it is like to be the last.  May you never sit in a room full of comrades and friends and still be truly, totally, utterly and eternally alone.

norielitnorielit on June 27th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC)
*squeals* Ohhh, this is awesome! Sadly enough, one of my favorite aspects to this fic is the names. Monolith, Slider, and Tonic. I love them all! Monolith's name wasn't focused around war (Bruticus, Defensor, Superion, Devastator) like the more recent gestalts, but this all happened before the war, so it shouldn't be. Tonic is a medic - awesome name for a medic. Slider... Well, we don't really know much about him, actually, except that, apparently, he slides. Hmm... That could mean he's got really flat feet. Or that his feet have a different kind of metal (like when we wear socks to slide around a kitchen.) Or maybe he throws people so far that they come to a sliding stop! Bet he'd be good at bowling.

Okay, moving on now, poor Perceptor! Not only did his entire gestalt die, but he was studied while in stasis and then forgotten! That'll do great things for his self-confidence, I'm sure. *sarcasm* And nobody even knows, though he obviously prefers it that way.

*thinks* Now, what if they found a living member of that third gestalt? I bet they'd be fairly attached to each other.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on June 27th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the comments and for reading.

I was trying for a non war sounding name for the gestalt and was most please when I dug Monolith out of my brian. Heck, I'll admit I was pretty impressed with most of my OC's names. And now I have some OC's to play with if I want.

Perceptor may not view it this way, but he has survived the loss of his gestalt, the loss of anything that was familliar and has made a new life in a new world despite his hurt. It sorta makes him strong.
kirin_saga: Not Forgottenkirin_saga on June 27th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
Poor Perceptor! *hugs Perceptor* Experimented on, left in stasis for thousands of vorns, then left for dead... only to wake up completely alone.

This is better than what I ecpected when I thought of the bunny. You gave it such depth.

I, also, liked the names. I would have had no idea what to call the Gestalt, let alone it's other members. And the fact the Perceptor and his team were one of the very first...

I wonder how the Autobots would learn he was part of a Gestalt? Would something go wrong with the current ones and they'd have to go through old records (if the records still existed)? Or would First Aid notice if he ever ran a full scan of Perceptor.

Perceptor never mentioned to the Autobots what he had been, merely offering his talents as a scientist, cross trained as a medical tech, thanks to Tonic’s skill set.

Does this mean Perceptor was not originally a scientist? Or was he a scientist and simply got his medical skills from Tonic?

I love that last paragraph, the blessing he sends to the Aerialbots.

An excellent fic!
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on June 27th, 2008 10:42 pm (UTC)
I'm so happy people like the Oc's names. I was pretty impressed with them myself. Enough that I may look into this way again. Will have to see.

Perceptor has certainly had a tough time of it yes.
Perceptor never mentioned to the Autobots what he had been, merely offering his talents as a scientist, cross trained as a medical tech, thanks to Tonic’s skill set.

I played with the above line/paragraph quite a bit, then went with ambiguity. I have most of the teams major abilities/postions laid out in my head, and Perceptor was not scientist or medic either. It actually offers a little into another bunny from the farm from norielit regarding warrior programming. Since Perceptor can be a used as field artillery cannon. Thus the hint at warrior skills.

I figured at some point if I pursue any of the ideas floating around in my head, that it will be one of the med team to make the discovery.

Glad you liked. Thanks for the bunny. It's not one I would have ever thought up on my own, but has offered me lots of possibilities.
Mr. Unsmileycrafty_mime on June 28th, 2008 05:47 am (UTC)
I like the idea of "borrowed" skill sets. It slides in nicely as Perceptor is proficient in several areas of science, which is rather unusual.

And though I hate to have it mentioned AGAIN, I really really like Tonic's name. So much that I stopped reading to think, "that's such a great name for a medic!"
(Deleted comment)
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on June 27th, 2008 10:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading.
mmousemmouse15 on June 27th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
I'm totally in awe at this. The way you wrote this you can almost feel the ache in Perceptor's spark, and I love how his gestalt mates are still part of him, giving him the skills to be useful.

But I cried at Percy being found on life support, forgotten and alone. That was so sad.

And your names (as previously mentioned) are brilliant! I love Tonic, and Monolith, and Slider, and Totality. What was the name of the third orginal gestalt? Since you're so good with names...

You could continue this...but only if you're inspired to do so. This really is awesome...
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on June 28th, 2008 04:46 am (UTC)
Perceptor: had to show he's been put through the ringer, so to speak. And yet I did not want to lay it on to thick.

It's funny, I usually suck at OC names, but these names just popped up at the time I needed them. No trouble at all, so they were definitely meant to be. Maybe they want me to write more? I am thrilled that people appear to like the OC names as much as I do. They are definitely keepers. The third gestalt's name? He's keeping stubbornly quite at the moment.

Thank you for reading and commenting.
tainry: PerceptorCoopertainry on June 27th, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
That's awesome and fascinating and oh, dear Perceptor! ;_; What an intriguingly different view of him! BRAVA!!!
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on June 28th, 2008 04:47 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
silvane91 on June 28th, 2008 04:39 am (UTC)
/Please/ tell me you're going to continue this. Please.
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on June 28th, 2008 04:49 am (UTC)
At this point, I hope to. It has not left my head yet. Will have to see. This piece ended up offering me quite a few points for continutions.

Thank you for reading and commenting
japankasasagijapankasasagi on June 28th, 2008 10:11 am (UTC)
I personally don't read a lot of Perceptor fics, but this one caught my eye, and it was very nicely done! I DO like your OC names, as the other readers have stated. But a very nice glimpse into this sad, quiet mech!
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on June 28th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
This is my first time writing Perceptor. He doesn't even rank in my Top 10 list of favorite transformers. I'm not sure he would make my Top 20 list either. I only worte this because the Plot Bunny Prompt caught my interest and would not let go. Now after this short, I find the bunny is not quite ready to let go. I have a definite interest in looking at more of him within this G1-ish AU I have created for the story. I just have to see what happens.

Thank you for reading and commenting.
(Deleted comment)
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on June 30th, 2008 04:40 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
snugsbunnysnugsbunny on August 20th, 2008 06:45 am (UTC)
Hmm, interesting start. I like the feelings within Perceptor, and his thoughts. His reflections on his life and the Aerial-Bots.

Looking forward to see where this is going and finding out the real truth.

Going to try to read the others and catch up XD
cmdrtekkcmdrtekk on August 21st, 2008 06:43 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading.